leche flan!

tanginey! kabwisit e! binalot ng bad vibes gabi ko, ang saya ko na kanina kahit masakit tyan ko tapos ganun2x nlng wasak! pag puno ka na talaga sasabog at sasabog ka! wala kang pakelam kahit sinong mabangga! paisa lang kanina ko pa to gustong isigaw e pukinginaaaaa!

yon sa haba ng panahon ngaun nlng ulit ako may nakaaway bukod sa asawa ko! di ko mapigil init ng  ulo ko, alam mo ung simula pa lang alam mo na kung san papunta ung usapan para akong baril na hinihintay lang makalabit ang gatilyo tapos booom!!!

masarap malaman na may mga taong masaya para sayo (lalo na ang kapamilya) pag ok ang lahat, at kung hindi naman ok ang sitwasyon iaangat ka o simpleng suporta lang sa desisyon mo para makapagpatuloy ka ng maayos. ung ganun lang masaya ka na kasi alam mong yung makakabuti sa kapakanan mo ang gusto nila para sayo.

wala na sigurong mas masaklap pa kung sarili mong dugo at laman ang unang hihila sayo sa tuwing bumubuti buhay mo at siya ring mambabaon sayo sa tuwing nasasadlak ka sa putik!

leche! ate ng asawa ko ung nakaaway ko putangina! nabwisit ako e masyadong negative ubod umaapaw! nakakasura! lalo tuloy sumakit tagiliran ko pati ulo ko! tangina kasi matagal ng nakaturn-off chat un sakin sa fb bakit kasi tinurn-on ko pa kanina! ang hirap mabago ng mood ko shett ilang oras na lumipas pero di pa rin ako mapanatag (haha di sanay te? haha hayup!) ewan ko ba painit lang ng painit ulo ko ayaw makalma kanina pa e!!! pati asawa ko nagkabadtripan na kami nu ba yan!

bukas gulo na yan malamang! sige lang ng matapos na tong kabaliwan na to! makapag-dasal na lang ng makalma naman!

sakit pa rin tyan ko! out!

boundless

I just wanna be here, even if I don't have any subject in mind. I just wanna be here.

The liberating feeling it gives me is just so wonderful. I wouldn't trade this space to any other media platforms out there. This is somewhat I call home. It knows my heart.

Whenever I'm jaded, I take a break and immerse myself to the serene and placid realm I know.
With joyful heart, I'm singing through words and I can see the echo-ing happiness before my very eye.
It makes my time worth while.

The view from here makes me see things clearer as for myself, my surroundings and my life. It makes me appreciate simple things in their grandest ways.

I thank God for giving me the love of writing what's in my heart. It makes me pure and it gives me bliss!

What a great way to start the week. Good night. :)

#smashingweekahead
#goodvibes

Poison Ivy? Hell No!

"Start spending time with the right people - people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embody who you want to be, unconditionally."

I got the above statement from one of my fb friends post yesterday, upon reading and liking the post it made me think of someone who is becoming more and more special to me as each day goes by and also thinking of all the things I went through til the day I met this someone and how it affected my life.

Being away from home for half a decade means being miles away from loved ones, dear friends and up to the the very last thing you used to have/do/live with for the rest of your life. Sure it's never easy! A life-changing event where getting lost is like your everyday and finding yourself is such a beautiful gift you'll receive during Christmas day! It's hard and even harder when you can't find a helping hand to pull you up when you're drowning too deep from sea of an unfamiliar crowd. (It's a suicide! Seriously! And what the hell? I'm not even out of the country! Maybe that's me being the true masochist myself! Lol!)

And there I met a lot of new faces, people that gave me friendships even just for a little while, people that made me feel less of myself, people that somehow made me happy and people I least expect would love me but they did! I thank these people but none of them gave me the ecstatic feeling of my younger years. I hardly find compassion and delight in this part of the world maybe because I'm different from them and we're not speaking the same language. I don't know! My husband always tells me this "umiral na naman pagka anti-social mo!" I admit there are times I felt I didn't need other people, well not literally the "people" just their drama! If I don't feel good about something or someone I just let it go! That way I'm wasting no time and I'm saving my ass from the fires of hell! It's not playing safe you know (as I heard someone said ps referring to me) fyi, it's becoming mindful of my actions, of what is right and wrong and at the same time shooing away bad vibes (just like you!) Sometimes, whether we like it or not if we have someone around who is full of negativity it radiates to us and we tend to react the same negative way! Duh! I hate it!

Lately I'm feeling so alive, young, free and most of all beautiful! :))))) It's because I have this new friend who is bubbly, cool, funny and very fashionista! I'm so happy we bumped into each other's lives. Being both married to a local we somehow understood each other well. She's a cebuana and older than me but deym! She's hawt! She's bringing me back to the times when I took 2 hours for a bath (just how much I love myself then! hahaha She doesn't have any idea how much she affects me every time that I'm with her. My good Lord thank you for allowing me to met this person I'm learning so much from her. It feels to have my bff's around whenever I'm with her. Just as I thought I wouldn't find another person as crazy as me, oh i was sooo wrong! She's even crazier that's why I'm enjoying so much!

Seriously, I'm starting to treasure this lady not just because she's a "friend". NO! Back to the statement on top of this post, She's all that! It doesn't matter if she feels the same or not, if she treasure the friendship or not all I'm saying is I found to whom exactly the statement was referring to. That's because even I just met her a few months ago she taught me a lot of things! She reminded me of what I deserve and what the best I can do and become more of myself! She's making me more beautiful literally and as a person (i don't know if she notices that but my husband did) and as for me I seldom find people like that since I came here! She's no insecure and wants her friend to be beautiful as her. She's funny, she's ambitious but no inhibitions and just like me she doesn't want negativity to enter her system.

We're always spontaneous when we're together, we tackle anything and everything under the sun! She showed me places I've never been to, she teaches me things she thought I needed to know. Btw, thank you Ivy!

I'm glad you came! :D

♪ ♫♪ ♫

now playing: soundtrack of walang hanggan

mood: calm

time check: 4:00 am

wow! it feels so good to listen to the music.. very relaxing and calming.. i just realized i haven't done this for ages.. my daughter just fell asleep after streaming hundreds of videos so while she's doing that i took my time by checking out the latest rnb songs. funny thing, i didn't know where to start! i found myself outdated! i tried to recall the last rnb song i've heard on the radio and all i can think of was price tag by jessie j that was soooo last year! never mind, i don't need to stress myself at this time of the night.

because lately i'm having lss over the songs in the teleserye walang hanggan i just seach through 'em and press play! perfect! exactly what i never knew i needed!

note to self: spend sometime alone with feel good music on, very therapeutic! highly recommended! lol!

because of our busy life,  most of us tend to forget simple things that sometimes makes everything alright. we're rushing and hurrying for what we think is essential to our everyday not knowing we've been missing out the very essence of it.

#breathe. #take time. #control.

Life is good!

<3<3<3

:)

so i woke up and got a lot of things to do but i still don't want to do it! my goodness ang tamad ko lang te! ayoko na tinatamad na kong tamarin haha wala na kong nagawa matatapos na ang sabado! cge para may silbi naman ako ngaung araw, gagawa ako ng post.

nagdate kami nung thursday ng asawa ko, well lunch date to be exact. dahil nga tamad na tamad akong kumilos these past few days di ako nagluto nung araw na yon (buti na lang!) ayun e di nanlibre siya! (eh kung araw-arawin ko kayang wag na magluto haha) hinatid muna namin sa skul ang bebe namin tapos nun gora na kami.

kumain kami sa tay ingo, bagong bukas lang yata na kainan yan dito sa lugar namin, ewan, baka matagal na huli lang talaga ko sa balita! infairness, ang sarap naman ng food nila. native na manok specialty nila and seafoods. umorder lang kami ng inasal with unli rice, sinigang na baboy saka 1.5 na pepsi, ayos na ayos solb!    sinadyang iwan ng mister ko cellphone ko na ginagamit nya bago kami umalis ng balur kasi alam nya na ang mangyayari magpapapichur ako! di nya lang alam ginawa ng tahanan ng camera ko ang bag ko! bwahahaha!

ewan ko ba kung ba't asar na asar talaga siya tuwing di ako mapakali sa kakapichur 'pag kasama nya ko (di man lang suportahan talent ko nyak! hahaha) di naman ako self-portraiter lols pramis! di naman puro muka ko lng ang subject! minsan mukha nya rin haha!

ilalagay ko pa sana ang mga pics kaso alas sais na pala magsasaing muna ko! ciao!

tatambayan kita ulit mamaya bloggy namimiss pala kitang talaga! :)

2:15 am
at ako nga'y nagbalik! mejo late na napachika pa ng konte sa fb pero ok lang tatapusin ko to' pampa-good vibes lang bago matulog para happy sunday bukas.:)

@Tay Ingo

eto na nga, e di humirit na kong magpapichur sa kanya... aba! eto nagtulug-tulugan ang mokong lols! oh e di ikaw na kj!  

pinichuran ko na lang tuloy tong design ng kubo na tinuluyan namin, ang sarap dito ang presko lang parang probinsya haha! gandang idea neto parang gusto ko tuloy pag' nagkaron na ko ng sariling bahay may ganito din, tambayan lang tapos lalagay ko din pichur ng bebe ko.. how cute! (bawat kubo may pichur yata ng apo ng may-ari or junanaks)

ayaaaaan! o di ba no choice siya di pa kasi siya maka-lafus, sinigang pa lang ang sinerved at plato hahaha!

pinilit ko pa siya nyan ng bonggels para lang kuhaan ako! 

e kainan na, di ko na pinilit chura pa lang parang mananapak na sa gutom lol! baka magwalk-out siya bigla ako pa pagbayarin :p

moment ko na! busog-lusog na siya e, nagkusa na siyang pichuran ako..:))

tas ngaun wumawacky kp jan hahaha

uwian na! :D thanks sa lunch dad! bukas ulit ha'

blah!

gosh! i'm so bored today! though i had a productive day but still i'm bored to death shetttt! you know, one of those days! sigh*

the moment am about to fall asleep i got up, turned the pc and do some random browsing over the net but nothing brought me back to my senses! i really hate it! i don't want to do anything because i'm tired, so tired that i don't feel like sleeping and it gets me really really bored! i'm not complaining how my day was because as i said it was a productive one. i ended up typing this post because this is the only thing left for me to do. no conversing required, no nothing. just me and my boredom at 3:30 in the morning!

sometimes i'm soooo in need of sensible talk just to make sure my juices (all kinds) won't dried up! btw, that's my dillema i'm stuck to one kind of environment with same species! and it gets tirin' and sickening at times! though i've found ways of coping but that won't solve the problem because i always end up breathing that same air! conversing the same way! i want diversion! now, i just proven myself how bored i really am! yeah talk about diversion!

that's why i really hate feeling this way because i'm thinking too much and gets easily bored at the same time! nothing will do! really sucks!

Something for You

Mama it's been a year! I don't know if you're still visiting here or even remember this site, but I hope one day you'll be able to read this!

There are so many things I wanna tell/share with you Ma. First, happy2x birthday to you! May you always be blessed with the best things in life and may the Lord give all your heart's desire (kahit sa ganitong paulit-ulit na birthday wishes ko lang maibalik ko man lang yung happiness na isinishare mo sakin parati.. I hope you're doing great Ma and that everything's fine. Next, thanks Ma for Hail's box - it's well appreciated! Sorry if I didn't get the chance to say thank you last Christmas. Lastly, Mama! :D Hailey is now a school girl! :)) Honestly Ma, in times like this you are the first person I'm excited to tell about with. :( Because I know you're more than excited and looking forward for more of her cuteness. Here she is Mama, enjoy.:D

Happy2x birthday again! Mwaaaaah!

Pose. Off to school.

1st day of school

After class. A bit tired. She got 2stars.

Lateral Change

In two weeks time we'll be moving in into our new humble abode and I feel very much excited and happy about it! Well, we just rented an apartment unit, a 15-minute ride away from the old house (whose Lola-in-laws' house that we've lived and shared with for more than four years). It's such an answered prayer for a wife like me, maybe if we're living with my family's side I really won't bother transferring so, that's why I clearly understood my hubby how it took us this long before living it in our own.

I don't know but I am getting too emotional these days about leaving Lola. Seriously, it's a one big tough decision that hubby and I made. Leaving her is never easy but I didn't expect that it would be this hard for me especially that most of the time I'm arguing with her control freak alter ego. I feel sorry for her that we gotta do this, the fact that we are the only family members living with her in the house looks so wrong at all to just go and leave. It bring me to tears thinking how much I've grown and learned in her arms. We've been through a lot of times, both good and bad.. but the best are the moments I gotta shared with her my pure bliss and my great sacrifices that I didn't even get the chance to share with my own family.. Those years made me a whole lot better as a person, and she's always been there.. And I thank her with all my heart..
With our Lola during her 80th birthday last 2010

Everything's uncertain with this transfer thingy but one thing is for sure, Lola will surely miss hailey's nightly visits to her room just to bring her water when she's coughing during bed time and of course those hugs and good night kisses..'( Don't worry Lola, we may soon be living in different houses but "it's only in bed time that we're apart because our everyday will still be spent with you."

We know that sooner or later we gotta do this very thing and it has already come to our senses that "that soon will be now"! I believed that those four long years already paved the way and lead us to this very moment of our lives. I prayed that may this be the start of the life we've always dreamed of, for our family and for our daughter. To God be the Glory!

Move Like Jagger

Kanina pagkatapos ni Hailey magshower tinungtong ko siya sa bangkito bago balutin ng towel nya, sabi ko sa kanya don't move para di ka malaglag bigla ba naman ako kinantahan..

Move like jag..
Move like jag..
Mooo-oooh-oooh-ve like Jagger!

Haha naalala ko lang, kaloka! Bukas nga ipopost ko ung ginagawa nya sa loob na ng apat na gabi.. Tama na to' tutulog na talaga ko. Thank you Lord for everything! Good night beautiful world!

Aksyon Pigyurs

Tutal nabanggit ko na lng din ang ben ten sa nauna kong post eh isunod na natin agad  ito, aksyon pigyurs! Babae ang anak ko, tatlong taon siya, malikot, masayahin pero gustuhin man namin hindi talaga siya ung tipong girly na bata. Sobrang malambing siya, mahilig mang-halik, mang-yakap at mag-sabi ng "i love you" sa napakalambing na boses pero di nya trip ang magpose sa camera, madalas pag pipichuran siya uunahan nya pang bumilang ng tatlo ang kukuha at siya na ang aaktong photographer at sasabihan ka pa ng "say cheese"!  Pati sa laruan mas nakakapukaw ng pansin nya ang mga robots, cars, handy manny tools at unisex toys tulad ng camera, building blocks and colored sticks.

Noong nakaraang buwan nga umuwing luhaan at nagwawala magmula playground hanggang bahay. Nakakita kasi siya ng spider man action figure sa bazaar sa paglabas nila ng playground, nagkataon naman na ang baon nilang 40pesos e naibili na nila ni ate baby ng popcorn ayon bokya wala silang pambili.

Alas-sais ng gabi ng dumating sila ng bahay, bothered ang lahat dahil malayo pa sa gate rinig na ang iyak nya which is very unusual kc di talaga siya iyakin kaya ganun na lang ang pangamba ng lahat. Akala namin kung napapano yun pala eto lang ang pinagwalaan nya. Kinse pesos na spiderman! Eto sya o! *ay bukas na lang ung picture di ko maalala kung san folder ko nilagay*

Kaya naman dali-daling nagvolunteer maglabas ng kinse pesos ang mga tao sa bahay para lang mabalikan at mabili agad yang si pareng spidey! Ganun na lang ang galak ni Hailey ng makita nya paghatid sa kwarto namin habang emo pa siya. (Yung parang walang nangayare!)

Nung kami namang tatlo ng daddy nya ang pumunta sa tindahan ng koreano (novelty shop) pinadampot namin siya ng kung anong gusto nya kasi mura lang naman ang mga bilihin dun, fishing poles with fish ang napili nyang laruan tapos nun umuwi na kami. Happy naman siya, pero di siya makaget-over dun sa nakita nyang ben ten, mga after 20minutes pagdating namin ng bahay naisip nya agad ung nakita nyang aksyon pigyur na ben ten dun. Sabi ko na lang sa kanya "ok we'll ask dad to buy it tomorrow". Sinabi ko na lang yun para wala ng diskusyon kasi bed time na rin non. Linggo un, dumating ang Lunes ng gabi naalala na naman nya ung ben ten, ganun din nung Martes ng gabi at ginabi-gabi nya na hanggang Sabado, Naawa naman ako kaya Linggo ng umaaga, pagkagising nya binihisan ko agad at sinorpresang dalihin dun upang sa wakas mabili nya na rin si unforgettable ben. Eto sya o! *ay bukas na lang ung picture di ko maalala kung san folder ko nilagay*

Di nako nagumingles para mabilis, walang double check. Sayang nga lang kahit ppano kasi isa to' sa mga paraan para mapractice english skills ko.:) Kiber lang Pinoy naman ako e! Pak! Makatulog na nga hating-gabi na naman!

Commercial Break

Sa wakas at nagkaron din ng pagkakataon gumawa ng post. Paspasan lang minsan lang to'e, hirap na humanap ng time para tumambay dito at magtype ng kung ano2x lang. Sobra ng demanding ni Hailey gusto laging parte si Mommy sa kahit anong activity nya, ulti mo commercials ng paborito nyang cartoons gusto nyang buong giliw kong sagutin ang bawat katanungan nya.

**Tulad na lang ng patalastas ng Ben Ten toy gun

Hailey: Mom, what's that? 

Me: That's a ben ten toy gun!
Hailey: I want that! Let's buy ben ten toy!
Me: But that's a toy for boys.

Hailey: Noooooo. I'm a boy!

Me:Sweetheart, you're a girl, you're not a boy!

Hailey: Don't worry Mom, (tapos sisgaw siya para tawagin nya daddy nyang  nasa ibaba ng bahay) Daaaaad! (mumbling for 10seconds or so..) let's buy ben ten toy!

Iba na ang commercial pero syempre may bago na naman siyang tanong, unlimited yon patay man o bukas ang tv laging tanungan portion madami siyang queries siguro talagang ganon ang stage nya ngayon, 3 y.o.

**Nung kinomersyal ulit ung Ben Ten toy gun

Hailey: Mom let's buy ben ten toy! That's for boys and girls!

Me: (Wala na kong nasabi, tumawa na lang ako!) hehe

Graduation Month

Upon checking my fb news feed about 15min. ago, I saw a lot of graduation pictures and that reminds me of my brother's graduation last November, 2011 which I attended together with my cousin. I know it's sooo last year but since it's the time of commencement exercises might as well give my fingers a little exercise to do and share this with you.:=)

Being able to finished school was really somethin'.. especially if you had a lot of awesome and fun times all throughout the years with the "kids" you literally grew up with.. It's kinda sad. But the thought of not waking early for the next day and thinking you don't need to do anythin' to save your ass from the teachers makes you wanna JUMP FOR JOY! ooooh I can still feel the excitement, lols!

Not until when the realization sinks in, that bittersweet taste of success you'll get when the heat of the celebration melts down. You've graduated only to find out that it's only the beginning of it all. To face the reality, to control your own life! It's the cross-roads where you will decide which way to go and how you do it. The discretion is all in your hands now. It's not a responsibility after all, in fact it's a gift for you and for your parents. So to all the graduates out there, cheers!  Nurture that gift!

And to you my dear bro, you know how much Ate's very proud of you. You go ahead and keep on shining! Make all your dreams a reality! Do it in Jesus' name, Amen! Congratulations once again and I love you!

Unang Patak

Sobrang maalinsangan ang panahon kaninang tanghalian kaya naman dali-dali kong inihanda ang pampaligo ni H pagkababa namin mula sa silid-tulugan. Subalit dala na rin siguro ng init ng panahon, mainit din pati ang ulo nya ~ galit, nagwawala, ayaw kumilos at sa unang pagkakataon hindi atat maligo. Mga mag-iisang oras din kami nagpilitan, naglambingan, nag-inisan at nag-utuan para lang mapaamo siyang pumunta ng kusina pero matigas pa din. Mas lalo lang siyang nabwisit kasabay nang pag halik ng ulan sa nangangalit na tuyot na lupa. Badtrip! Mahalumigmig! Mabuti na lang at lumakas ng konte ang pagbuhos nito at ganun din ang paglakas ng sigaw ng aking mahal na prinsesa. Kaya naman ang kanyang ama ay tuluyan ng sumaklolo, at ayun naligo silang dalawa sa ambon (e mahina lang e kaya di un ulan) :)) Yan ang istorya ng unang pagdampi ng patak ng ulan sa balat ng aking mahal na bulilit. 

Bakas pa sa larawang ito ang pagka-inis ng aming prinsesa pero ang totoo nagenjoy talaga siya di lang halata, *wag ka mag-alala anak sa tag-ulan araw-arawin natin maligo sa ulanan..

***Buti na lang at lumamig din at nakatulog siya, nagkaroon tuloy ako ng  oras para magawa ito.

hailey techie

How time really flies! I can't believe that I already have a techie daughter. She turned three last January and her computer skills are really emerging! Last year I was so impressed when she learned how to use the space bar to replay the youtube videos she's watching, followed that  by the use of track pad in mommy's phone to choose the video she wanna watch (take note she learned/discovered all of that by herself) and early this year she learned to navigate the mouse when she's youtube-ing and gradually got the hang of it, so now she can play on-line.

She already know how to spell her name "hailey" both in oral and typing (using the keyboard) as well as the words "mommy" and "daddy", and knows how to delete it as well using the backspace.  Plus we gained additional words that she can actually read, like before it was only up to 15 words but now she can read probably up to 20 words.

Playing dora and wonder pets on Nickjr.com.:))

Some of the unforgettable conversations we had with H:

Last year (Nov.2011) in Manila: 2yrs.and 10mos.
Hailey: Come on Mommy Star let's go outside!
MommyStar: No let's just stay here it's raining.
Hailey: Uhmmm..(Puts her finger in her temple, acts like she's thinking) Aha! (With her surprise face with wide open eyes and mouth, and her pointer in an upward position) I have an idea!
Mommy Star: What's your idea?
Hailey: Umbrella!

This year (Feb.2012) back in the province: Just turned 3y.o. last Jan.
Hailey: Papa Noynoy let's go to Gaisano (Mall)!
Papa Noy: Oh it's closed Hail.
Hailey: I have an idea! A key! A key!
Mom: But we don't have a key sweetheart..
Hailey: Don't worry Mom, I help you find a key..

Don't you think I have the bragging rights to be the PROUD-est Mom on earth? :))
Truly my sweet-est thing!

friends~forever

When you have a place to go at the end of the day ~ that is HOME.

When you have people to love ~ that is FAMILY.

When you have someone whom you can be yourself and accepts and cares for you in any circumstances ~ that is a FRIEND.

When you have all of them ~ that is a BLESSING. :D

That is one of the many wonderful text messages sent to me by my long lost bf  "Kristine" when they got back to Bohol after spending some fun times with me here in her hometown Antique last February. We've been friends since 1997 and became one of the closest among others in our class. We both transferred to a different schools during '98 I was the first one, but continued our friendship thru letters (I still have 'em) and '99 she transferred and never to hear anything from each other since then. So roughly for 13 years we've never seen and heard from each other again, not until last month we had this chance of celebrating the good times we've had from the past and given the chance of making another memorable one. What a small world, isn't it? For so many places in the world she happened to be my husband's kababayan. I think I already mentioned her last year in one of my posts when we found each others' account in fb, so that's where we got updated with each others' lives. 

Here we are:

Reunited! 

With our kids.=))

 Sisters by heart! 

Despite the distance and the many years we've lost along the way, I thank God for bringing me friends as precious as this one. I love her and forever we'll be friends. Sis, alamoyan! Andito ka o' sa puso ko! Thank you! Mwah! <3 I hope to be with her again, sana this summer. =))